Now I know how JPL felt like while he was eating that sandwich...

Where the hell have you been?

"You sir, are definitely ... not the boss of me. As far as you are concerned I was kayaking through the Andes."

"Were you kayaking through the Andes? That sounds pretty fun, I didn't even know there was water, I merely assumed it was all mountain."

"I created my own river, by using my furious rowing to melt the snow caps. What?? No, man. You've seen me ... ... you are me. You know I am incapable doing that. I was just busy and lazy."

Movies?

Umm, I haven't seen a movie in a theater in a while. Nothing has really come out that I want to see, maybe that movie with Pitt about Jesse James, that has a huge title with name Jesse James in it.

October, what an exciting time it is though for people who love bad movies. I expect no less that 34 extremely awful movies to come out the last week of this month. You know the ones; you see the preview and think, "Who spends good money to see this?!"

Apparently me and flock of stoodents in film school somewhere thinking horror is the pinnacle of genres. In my mind they are all wearing flannel shirts; don't ask me why because I don't know. Wait, no. I think its because I once knew this dude Jeff, he wore flannel like all the time, and sounded like Kermit the Frog.

We walked out of class one day and he was holding a copy of Wishmaster 2 screenplay. I believe when I asked him what it was, he called the movie a classic. Years after, I saw Wishmaster 2 and I will tell you ... it might be worth wasting my one trip back in time to tell that guy, "I have seen Wishmaster 2 and it is no classic." Then have the dude from the hippy cart blow dart him, so he can chew on that thought as he passes on.

TV?

BIG BANG THEORY IS SO RETARD. Yet I wonder if I am retarded because I am some what upset with a few of their nerd inaccuracies.

This show is so bad I'm not sure if the dude who is the main actor asked the girl who was Darlene on Roseanne to be on the show as a favor to her, or a favor for him...

Anime?

New season came out this week. It better be good, I'm riding off the high of One Piece ... I expect only excellence now.

One Piece 228-318 (Water 7, Enies Lobbies) - F'ing AWESOME!!!! This is why One Piece is good. Dude, the guy who wrote this was like, "Usopp, this guy is not getting enough respect. I better make him aweseome." "Where is Sharpshooter Island? In your heart."

Claymore 1-26 - Japan better await the 3rd A-bomb because of the ending of this show.

Kenichi 50 - What? WHATT? The ending didn't suck!? Almost unheard of in anime.

Lucky Star 21-24 - SADNESS. Its over. When the teacher loses her blog entry. HYSTERICAL, but that actually better not happen here.

"new season" Shana 2nd 1 - It was like a recap but not at all. HYPED for the 2nd season.

Games?

Yah, I still play WoW. Right now we are only trying to kill this dude Kael'thas. The fight is like if you tried to make a 3D model of the concept of something being "ass". I think me and the other rogues just spend a majority of our time figuring out how to not to be there without blatantly seeming like we are avoiding it. I think these other 2 dudes have it figured out with the ... not logging into WoW and saying nothing.

I'm also spending a good amount of my time playing The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. I will probably beat it within the next week or two ... maybe to be consistent, I will write up a whole review. But I will tell you now like with Minish Cap I had to compromise my manhood and look up an answer to a puzzle on the internet. It was painful because after I did it, I knew I had just given up too quickly!!! WHAT AM I!?!?! WHY COULDN'T I JUST HOLD ON!!!! THE SANDWICH WAS TOO SPICY! WHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy!? why!!!!?

Anything Else?

Why do I always assume that like you only get on chance to travel back in time? Obviously you could just purchase the machine; pop in there anytime you feel like.

Wait? Did I already write that in a previous entry? Was I from the future then? I hope not because that was a LAME use of my one trip back in time. WAIT THAT'S RIGHT! Nevermind.

Ohh, yeah and ...

WWHHHHhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?

Greatest betrayal in gaming history? Samus is a woman ...?

Why no blog entries?

Quiet. No, really don't say anything. I got no excuses. If you said something I would just have to eat it.

Plees for forgiveness?

JPL, I would like to apologize. HOW I'VE WRONGED YOU! My constant accusations. How this stream of libel must have scarred your heart. Will you ever be able to recover? I will set everyone straight, man; JPL DOES NOT LIKE GREY'S ANATOMY's Sandra Oh but instead prefers the company of men.

You saw that coming, man. Should I fear retaliation? Is that inhaling I hear? Imminent poison blow dart?

No, honestly I wish to apologize ... on behalf of the country of Korea, for bringing Dragon Wars to the United States. HOLY CRAP, this movie sucked so much! Was it a plan maybe? Release a movie so bad it might incapacitate America for the k-invasion? Befuddle us with its massive plot inconsistency and paralyze us with worst dialog ever. Remember those monkeys that I said wrote Sci-fi Originals? The dude who wrote this made those monkeys look like the good damn poet laureate. Those monkeys are churning out sequel to Citizen Kane right now, and not like sequel Karate Kid II to Karate Kid, I mean sequel like Aliens to Alien.

I WILL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW VON DOOMLIFF!

Movies?

Well other than the AWFUL Dragon Wars, I also saw Resident Evil: Extinction. I don't know if because after seeing Dragon Wars I could have watched Batman and Robin and called it a passable flick, but it wasn't that bad. It wasn't as god awful as the second movie, but definitely not the first movie.

My problems with the movie? Zombies in the desert PLEASE! Unless they are all like hanging out in a Jergen's factory for dudes to pass by, I really don't think its plausible. Then what's up with Milla's psionic powers? Do I get extra nerd points for referring them as psionic instead of psychic?

Anime?

Ookiku Furikabutte: Man, really like if Japan has as many of these pansy cry baby dude's as anime portrays them to have? I finally understand the need for the numerous amount roving thugs.

Claymore: FINAL EPISODE TONIGHT!!

Kenichi 49: Dude, hilarious. That woman cheered for an impression of herself.

Anything Else?

JPL is obsessed with poison.

"In what universe is this a dolphin?"

What. Is. Up. Mockingdale?

Nothing much. Same old stuff. Hm, I did meet up on Sunday with my family and friends (VON DOOMLIFF, Frau SHE-LIFF, Groggy, and ummm... Lynne and Andy Lo. I don't know why don't refer to the other people by there birth names? They do have them. ) Anyways we celebrated the birth of a great man ... [quickly] me [/quickly].

I won't really go into because there isn't much to say, most of you were there, and for those of you who weren't there's only thing you need to know is I got a huge television ... ...yes, very large.

Movie?

Man, I know. Why haven't I seen Dragon Wars yet!? I'm I not half-korean? I will see this weekend for sure.

I did go see 3:10 to Yuma. Really how bad was America Pyscho? Why do I keep linking to Wikipedia? Anyways, really like Christian Bale; dude must went to like Juilliard for 8 years to get his masters in "looking defeated" with a minor in "bad gravelly voice". Ah, Russell Crowe ... you smug bitch.

TV?

I haven't seen that much, but I guarantee you everything that I see from now on is going to be friggin' gigantic.

Games?

WoW. Playing again. Why? WHY???? Always with these people talking, the whole game might be better if no one but me played it.

Bioshock. I've gotten over the scared, but not over sucking.

Table Tennis. I must release Black Mark.

Picross. Dude, why do I play this game so much? It might be the most repetitive game ever. Dude, I don't think I have anything funny to say about Picross or at all, but this did remind me of this time my sister showed me a game and told me, "Its like Frogger but ... more primitive." AN AMAZING DESCRIPTION and after playing it accurate, too.

Anime?

Um, later. Getting sleepy.

Anything Else?

I'm already asleep.

"Judd Nelson you never fail to disappoint me."

Blog Title?

A complete lie. Judd Nelson has failed me plenty. But not too long ago I caught him on the Sci-fi Original: Black Hole. Why ...WHHHY?! Not, even you Suddenly Susan's Judd Nelson should desecrate yourself by going onto a Sci-fi Original. You inspired a whole generation to wear tattered denim.

Ah, I talk bad about the Sci-fi Originals but I will admit that I am like the first guy to sit down and turn on "Eighth Plague of the Undead Space Locust: The Final Showdown" starring Steven Baldwin as Space Yeti. But I recognize that they don't use like writers or even bad writers, not even bad human writers. They probably uses some kind of room of monkeys with typewriter method to crank these out once week, and these monkeys are the down trodden hacks of monkey writers. Let me now insert a comic that only me and JPL will fine only mildly humorous:

REALLY, Death Proof was such a pile of crap!! Like 3 people know about this blog, I don't even know if all 3 of those people read it, but that dude out there who like sleeps with like a straw mock-up of Tarantino at night is going to instantly find this entry and start with his, "You just don't understand the genius of Tarantino."

Mockingdale: "What? I loved Pulp Fiction man. Kill Bill 1."
Massive Internet Queer: "No, no. You just watched them, but you really didn't see them."
Mockingdale: "What does that even mean? Who the hell are you?"
Massive Internet Queer: "Tarantino's dialog is so intellectual and real; obviously your plebeian brain can't handle it."
Mockingdale: "Seriously ... ? Do you have ears?"
Massive Internet Queer: "I can't expect you to understand the subtly."
Mysterious Voice of Reason: "Give it up Nigel... He is right Death Proof, watching it could be considered a sin."
Nigel (a.k.a. Queer Guy): "No, no. Not you too Neal. It was brilliant, his best film since Jackie Brown. The dialog, it was like how real people talk, like you and me."
Neal: "No Nigel, its not. I personally like to breath while I talk, and we are breaking up. Mostly because you like America Psycho and partially because our names start with the same letter."

But maybe these ridiculous fictional people don't have to come to pass my blog because such a Tarantino fan already reads it. He is probably on his favorite message board talking trash already under his forum handle: sandra-oh-face20805. You know who you are.

Anything Else?

That was a huge fictional conversation. What was I thinking?

My Reflections on Wednesdays' Tuesday with Von Doomliff...

Verdict? HILARIOUS! ... actually not really, but it sounds better than Verdict? Not too shabby."

It was pretty sweet actually, especially because I didn't have to write anything at all. I'm a big fan of that; not doing anything. If my blog could go up and me not have to do anything, its like the dream of dreams. Its like the blog equivalent of ... man, really like seems so odd I can't like imagine an over the top fantasy to put here. I was thinking of maybe like something crapping gold, because you know gold is valuable and things crap with ease and frequency, so that's cool. But really I don't know how like comfortable I am really with amassing my fortune fecally.

Anyways, did I hurt your feelings Von Doomliff because I didn't say it was hilarious? Not even that I didn't say at all, I said it and then JERKED it way, and replaced with a phrase that denotes it was barely more than adequate. Maybe I didn't think it was because of the heinous use of the first person.

"Mockingdale, do you not like the first person? Wait... Isn't me calling you Mockingdale basically first person?" "Umm, I have no idea. Maybe its second person because I never understood what that was? Omnipresent voice ... .. ... um, what?"

Nah, it was pretty funny; capital Z hate, I laughed out loud. I eagerly await the next installment. I wonder what Von Doomliff's favorite films are? I could wager a guess:

1. Runaway Bride
2. The Bodyguard
3. Pearl Harbor
4. Starship Troopers
5. Boy Meets World the TV Series: Season 4

Dude, you love some bad movies. The comedy here might be completely lost because you don't know how fast I literally compiled this list of films. My fingers finished "Season 4" and my brain was still only on "Pearl Harbor" and today became yesterday.

Anything Else?

Going to buy an Xbox 360 + Blue Dragon, and most likely BIOSHOCK if that's out, I think, this weekend.

I just found out today I don't have to work Monday, so yeah... I should have probably thought of something to do... Richmond is so friggin' far away.

My old nerdy haunt of youth, Comic World, is closing down. QUITE SAD.

Actually, might have to rename "Tuesday with Von Doomliff", to "Kneel Before Von Doomliff" because everyone should know I'm a big fan of Zod's undying love of people to be lower than he is to show that he is better than they are ... "KNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeEEEEEELLLLLL!

GOD, I hate Lou Diamond Phillips...

Inside the mind of Mockingdale?

Ahhh, I have nothing to talk about ... really. I guess I could talk about WoW but it would go something like this, "waaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

So, I decided to give a quick primer on some of my favorite things:

5 Favorite Movies:

1. Goonies - So many epic speeches ... plus the recreation of Chunk throwing up is genius.
   
2. Karate Kid - Macchio, Morita, Shue, plus one of the greatest montage song every composed.
3. Monty Python's Holy Grail - MOST OVER QUOTED MOVIE EVER.
   
4. Clue - "I'm going home to sleep with my wife."
   
5. Resident Evil 1 - Really this should be Conan: The Barbarian, but magically shrinking dress.

Honorable Mention:

Seven Samurai - For just possibly being the greatest movie ever put on film.

Don't let persons tell you the ARMAGEDDON seems to be missing from my list. Those people are dirty filthy liars. HOW DARE THEY?! Its not like I'm ashamed, for the love of god I openly put Resident Evil on there.

What only one "feel good sports movie"? Why do I mention this? Because 1/2 of the Council of John Pauls seems to think that numbers dictate preference and that saying "feel good sports movies" is my favorite genre I am, "...only lying to myself"! MAN, I LOVE KARATE KID!! "...body bag!" "...sweep the leg." "...always look in eye!" That thing that dude does with the hands... It doesn't matter if I have gone to twenty-four hundred light romantic comedies and only ever seen Karate Kid, Rocky and Rodney Dangerfield's Ladybugs. I PREFER FEEL GOOD SPORTS MOVIES!

Anything Else?

JPL's list of favorite movies: 1. Brokeback, 2. Brokeback, 3. Brokeback, 4. Brokeback, 5. The Crow - Oh, so goth.

"...peasants line up all day, and I tell them to cut crap in half."

Status: Friday Night?

Who dominates the world YET AGAIN!? Me, man ... ME! I went with a different strategy this time of playing people who are far more interested in the DS than playing Risk ... seriously, how clever is that? Oh that, and being blood thirsty ... these people I play with they don't WANT it bad enough ... take lessons from my boy, Conan ... "lamentations of their woman" indeed!

Amanda is gone for now, apparently there will be no games with her until deep winter. Yet I have a new "smack talkin' " opponent. Apparently, Mike Judy claims my previous victory was due to his masterful placement of pieces during pre-game, and that I'm too cocky or something. Once he returns from like 90 year mid-western slash Canadian voyage ... he will get his chance to be proven wrong.

SIDE NOTE: Team Half-Alaska might need to be changed to the slightly more race-centric Partially White.

Movies?

Rocket Science: Awkward? Yes. Good? No.

It wasn't that bad. But I just have a few questions? Why did this movie have so much making out? Why is the dude who made it so st00dent? Did the dude who made this get a call from the guy who made Thumbsuckers suckers going, "Why are you jacking my stuff?" "What? Its nothing like Thumbsuckers?" "Really? Come on? COME ON ... COOOOME ON... come on ... ..."

Nah, like I completely understand why this movie was made. Its like taking the grandiose ideas of the typical movie: like winning over the girl, come from behind impossible victory, sweet sweet vengeance ... and showing you that they are unrealistic. Then you are to derive pleasure from this dude's constant failures... why? I can guarantee unless its like a dude wearing the world's like tightest black turtle neck and has the most primped messy hair is anyone going, "It was brilliant that bitch didn't get what she deserved. Its so real! Wasn't it real, Neal, my boyfriend .. Neal? You're a man, Neal is a man's name... let us go back to my 'flat' and continue to be gay and British."

Movie did have its moments, like the time it took the dude 3 tries to get the cello through the window and when his brother said, "DON'T EVER STEAL THE STUFF I'VE STOLEN!"

Stardust? What's with Clare Daine's face?

I've seen this movie too many times. Claire Daine's makes this face during one scene actually several faces. Its cute I guess, but really I can imagine the only way to get someone to make these faces is to ask them to "look more like a retard".

Anime?

Nana - Its over? Are you KIDDING ME!?

What?! Man, I was expecting the mother of all fall outs, a literal drama bomb, but instead I haven't felt so jipped since the ending of KareKano. Man, I'm not going to buy the comic ... I'm NOT!? SHUT UP, NO WAY MAN... NO WAY!

Anything Else?

No. I don't think so! I got to go buy some comic books!

Actually, why is the theme to Conan so good? dumdumdedum dadadumdedum DANANANAAaaa...